Why Do Some Things Feel Harder Than They Should?

First published in the Twizel Update, June 2026.

Recently I had a simple task on my to-do list: count a pile of empty seed bags of various sizes that had been kindly donated to me for an upcoming fundraising event. It wasn't difficult, didn't require any special skills, and probably would have taken less than ten minutes. Yet for some reason, I kept putting it off. It was one of those ordinary tasks that somehow felt surprisingly difficult to begin. The bags sat there for days - really messing up my deck - while I found other things to do that seemed more urgent or important. Every time I walked past them, I thought, Ahh…. I really should count those bags, before moving on to something else.

Eventually, I asked my partner if he would come outside with me. Not necessarily to help - just to come outside. He looked slightly puzzled, but came anyway. Of course, he ended up helping, and within a few minutes the job was done. Afterwards, I found myself wondering why I had made such hard work of starting something so simple.

The interesting thing is that it wasn't really the seed bags that were weighing on me. It was the fact that the task remained unfinished. Every time I walked past them, they occupied a little bit of mental space. Not much, but enough. I suspect most of us have our own version of the seed bags: a phone call we need to make, a form we need to complete, a difficult conversation, a project we've been meaning to start, a decision we've been avoiding, or perhaps a health goal we've been putting off until life feels a little less busy. Often these tasks aren't particularly difficult, yet somehow, they feel much bigger in our minds than they do once we actually begin.

As parents, we see this in our children too. One of my kids can happily dream about all the things they would like to do one day, yet helping with chores at home is a different story if they're not in the mood. However, if we all chip in together, it is not a big deal and we get it done in no time. The same pattern showed up recently when they were hesitant to join a group of children at the pump track because they didn't know anyone there and worried they might get in the way. What struck me was that they later said they would have joined if their friends had been there.

That got me thinking. Perhaps the biggest barrier isn't always the task itself. Perhaps it's the feeling of doing it alone.

We often tell ourselves that we need more motivation, more discipline, or more willpower. Social media is full of messages encouraging us to push harder, try harder and be more productive. Yet I wonder if that's only part of the story. The older I get, the more I notice how much easier things become when we have support around us. A friend joins us for a walk. A neighbour lends a hand. A training partner helps us stay consistent. Sometimes all it takes is someone standing beside us while we take the first step.

As a health and wellness coach, I've often noticed that people rarely struggle because they don't know what to do. Most of us already know the basics. We know that getting enough sleep, moving our bodies, spending time outdoors, managing stress and eating nourishing food will generally improve our wellbeing. The challenge is usually not a lack of information. It's overcoming the resistance that sits between knowing and doing.

Sometimes that resistance is fear. Sometimes it is overwhelm. Sometimes it's perfectionism. Sometimes it is simply the feeling that the task ahead is bigger than it really is. And sometimes, just like my seed bags, it disappears surprisingly quickly once we begin.

I've noticed this in many areas of life: running businesses, raising children, maintaining relationships, recovering from setbacks and learning new skills. The things we admire in others are rarely built through a burst of motivation. More often, they are built through hundreds of ordinary steps that nobody sees - the small conversations, the repeated practice, the planning, the chores and the countless unremarkable actions that slowly add up over time.

We tend to think motivation comes first and action follows. But perhaps we have it the wrong way around. Perhaps action often comes first, and motivation follows behind. Perhaps confidence isn't something we wait for. Perhaps confidence grows because we were willing to take the first step.

Chances are, most of us have our own version of the seed bags sitting somewhere in our lives right now. The interesting thing is that the barrier is often much bigger than the task itself. And sometimes, all it takes to get moving is a little support, a little courage, and the willingness to begin.

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Thank you for reading

I hope this article has given you something to think about.

If you'd like to continue exploring, you'll find more reflections in the Articles collection. And if you're curious about the way I work as an Integrative Health Coach, you're warmly invited to explore the rest of my website.